You can read part 2 here
We had to go regularly to get T weighed every time he gained we could go a day longer between weigh-ins and finally on day 20 we were discharged as he was over his birth weight
During this time they arranged for me to have use of an electric breast pump before I brought my own.
What no one told me was in order to make enough milk I needed to pump not for 20 minutes but every 3 hours round the clock until past empty ( I didn’t do this) so unfortunately I never produced enough.
I had to introduce formula as I didn’t have the time or energy to pump enough to meet his needs. I hated buying formula I felt like people were looking and judging.
The pumping and topping up with formula went on. When t was about 10week’s old I saw someone post on Facebook about relactation of a 6 month old that made me think about breastfeeding again. I ummed and ahhed before deciding to pay for a private lactation consultant who introduced me to a suplimentary nursing system (SNS)
I also with the support of a friend started going to breastfeeding groups it was at one of these groups it was suggested T could have tongue tie
We are now at week 20 T has been referred to have his tongue tie looked at. I am still pumping and we are still using the SNS
I go from being ok with the situation happy that t gets 8oz a day of expressed milk I think of it like a high nutrient vitamin shake. To an overwhelming sense of sadness, this week I’ve watched people post photos of the big latch on events. I can just about be in the same room as someone feeding but it hurts