having a moan

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I sometimes feel like I have nowhere to share what’s on my mind without someone getting upset or offended. I had promised myself I wasn’t going to write a blog post until I had something positive to write about but I think if I wait for that point I wont be writing anything for ages. So this is going to be a bit moany – feel free to stop reading and come back again when its a bit more upbeat.

I feel like I have very little time to myself – I understand thats what happens when you have children but I would just like 5 minutes to drink a cup of tea in peace or not to have to rush through a shower because T has woken up, My mum has had T this week so I can get some Uni work done but no one wants to look after him to i can go shopping or just enjoy a nice long bath.

Sam not quite understanding just how low and tired i am feeling I literally have no attention span at all and even getting dressed is an effort so at the moment the place looks like a tip – which i am trying really hard to get on top of but it feels like he never wants to help and being honest I do get his point that I am home all day.

My mums refusal to give T proper food we have done a mixture of purees and baby led weaning, he has 6 teeth and is more than capable of chewing food but she still insists on mashing everything of cutting it into tiny little pieces – the omelet she gave him may as well have been scrambled eggs. I am normally not there to witness it but when I do it irritates me, especially as she acts like I am trying to make him choke if i give him anything that’s not the texture of mashed potato.

Never buying myself anything new, its a mixture of wanting to put the money towards paying off debt and not feeling I deserve it, it took me ages to tell Sam he needed to contribute more to household finances. I think I like to try and do it all myself rather than accepting help. I am getting better with small purchases but I need to factor some fun into the budget. ( or maybe plan something for after I have paid off my credit card )

I think thats enough moaning for now i will be back soon with some positivity.

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