Family life.


After much discussion, Sam has dropped his hours at work. This means a drop in money but is something I think is right for us as a family.

He will be starting another course with the open university in October and needs more time to study especially if he decides to do 2 courses.

I also want to be able to spend more time together as a family while T is little as time seems to go so fast now. Being able to do stuff midweek will hopefully mean we can avoid the weekend crowds.

The change is happening from the 1st of August, and I am really looking forward to it, all I need to do now is pass my driving test so we can take trips out as a family.


#BEDN All I want for christmas


This year is my first Christmas as a mum, so I want to start creating my own Christmas traditions stuff like watching Christmas films and making salt dough decorations. We also make people edible treats for Christmas and I am looking forward to T being involved in that as he get older.  With pinterest you can now get loads of ideas for Christmas crafts you can see what I would love to try on my Christmas Board, as usual though I am struggling when people ask me what I want for Christmas mainly because there isn’t anything that I really want and I like surprises it seems that no one can be bothered to put effort in to thinking about what I like and getting me something.  I really enjoy the gift giving part of Christmas the finding or making something that someone will like and then wrapping it up nicely and seeing their reaction, I don’t do it for a present in return I do it because I enjoy it.

I am also not going to be spending a fortune on T’s Christmas presents he will be 9 months old and I have already seem mums on facebook talking of spending over £500 in presents for children under 1 that’s not a habit I want to get into, especially not at this age. He has lots of family and friends and will spend Christmas feeling very loved and right now that’s all he needs.

what are your Christmas plans ?


Being over sensitive?


Sorry it’s an unedited ramble I may come back to it but I needed to rant

I’m starting to find myself being very upset by people’s behavior. Now my standard approach would be to just ignore these people however that’s hard to do with close friends and your partners family.
I’ve got a very good friend. I could tell her anything and when we’re together we have a great time but she thinks nothing of arriving 2 hours late or canceling plans after she’s supposed to have arrived. I have recently told her this isn’t ok which is really hard as I over think people’s potential reactions and tend to avoid saying anything that could cause any confrontation. I’m not holding out much hope of her changing

Then there’s Sam’s family. It feels like they don’t even like me, he has an aunt and uncle who live round the corner who have never shown any interest in meeting our son or me for that matter. We probably see his dad the most often and it’s great seeing them interact more as T gets bigger and more responsive.
The thing that really upsets me is the talk of visits that never happen and not being included in things. We’re coming to the end of the summer holidays which started with talk of visits from T’s aunty and cousin which have yet to materialize.
I tell myself they don’t mean to forget us or make me feel left out but when I see things about family trips or visits to places nearby on Facebook that I’ve not been invited too I start to take it personally. It hurts and feels like rejection, I wouldn’t mind so much if they invited Sam and Tobias.
I’ve never had family nearby all my grandparents died when I was younger and the rest of my family are not local, I liked the idea of T growing up having a close family, but I don’t feel like I should make the effort all of the time. I just seem to be taking this out on Sam rather than speaking to them about it which isn’t fair on any of us, but it’s easier to think they don’t like me than ask and have it confirmed.

I suppose it’s true that you can’t chose your family.

Interfering mothers – can’t like with them but wouldn’t be without them


Me and my mum have always had a turbulent relationship. Moving out at 17 was one of the best things I did emotionally if not financially.
For ages it’s been really good but recently it’s been a bit of a nightmare, she’s being really picky and judgemental about everything from how often I wash up to what I’m eating. It’s like im never going to be good enough for her and it’s  left me feeling really anxious and like im not capable.

Part of me knows we should have sometime apart but where I have regular appointments at the doctors I’ve been staying there almost everyweek. It really hurts that others seem to have great relationships with their parents but at the moment 5 minutes with mine makes me want to cry.

But deep down I know it’s because she cares, and she’s making more of an effort. Part of it is that a lot of the stuff that hurts is because it’s things where I know shes right or its things im feeling sensitive about.

Think I just need to find my big girl pants and pull it together